Where I Should Be
by evanescentflame421
Summary: Riven has been up to a lot since he last saw the Winx and the Specialists. Currently, he's being required by his new superiors to keep a journal of his emotions. He is supposed to be focusing on a recent event, but the journal may bring up even older feelings. Especially since he's seen Musa for the first time since he left.
1. Journal

Chapter 1

Journal

Riven sat staring at the little black notebook in front of him. He wished he could make the notebook understand how much he did _not_ want it. He wanted it to know that he thought it was a stupid waste of time. He wanted it to know that this wouldn't change or fix anything.

Unfortunately, he knew telling the notebook any of this also would not change or fix anything.

He groaned and decided to get up and get a drink of water before finally hunkering down and doing what he needed to. He sat at his desk and thought about spilling that water on the notebook, but he knew that was petty and he would just be issued another. With a sigh of resignation, he opened the notebook, picked up his pen, and…stared.

It had been over a year since he left Red Fountain and joined the prestigious force called The League. The League was a special task force which only accepted those most skilled in combat and strategy. Essentially, they were mercenary agents who were given the opportunity to complete tasks across the magical dimension. Most assignments were above the board but some were what one would call… "not quite legal". The inner workings of The League were very hush-hush, but practically everyone knew that they existed.

Riven had just completed a group mission which his superiors thought had taken a toll on the squad. In order to ensure the "mental wellness" all of the members of his group would not be given assignments for a month. At least. Additionally, the superiors were also requiring that every member of the squad write in a journal talking about what they were feeling. One of Riven's favorite topics, of course. They had to write something and submit the journal at the end of each week. They were told that they needed to do this "for themselves" but Riven knew the superiors were looking for signs of PTSD.

He understood that The League needed to ensure its members were in top shape, but that didn't stop him from feeling annoyed. A month suspension and mandated diary writing? He was going to go stir crazy.

He had spent four months going through try-outs, trainings, and completing initiation tasks just to qualify. It would have been longer had his reputation at Red Fountain not preceded him. He thoroughly enjoyed working for The League and the way it made him feel. It also made him feel good knowing he could retire and live a comfortable life with the money he had made so far – all the missions paid extremely well. Theoretically you couldn't put a price on a life, but some of these people sure did try. He wasn't close to retirement though – he loved the work and wasn't ready to give it up. He would die of boredom.

Work also kept him distracted. Most of the time it kept him from remembering that it had been one year, five months, two weeks, and four days since he last saw her. But distractions can't last forever, and every time he wasn't focused on a mission, she would invade his mind. You would think after all this time he would start to get over it, but he couldn't. Life is a trade-off – before he had been happy with Musa but wanted so much more. Now all he wanted was her. He always knew it but never dwelled on it. He thought about reaching out to her after he had been accepted into The League, but word around Magix was that the Winx were dealing with another big bad. After that got settled, it just felt like too much time had passed. Riven knew he should have reached out sooner, but the more time that passed the harder it was to get himself to do it.

He pulled himself out of his thoughts and stared down at the notebook. Finally, he figured out what his first journal entry was going to be.

 _ **This is stupid.**_

Feeling proud, he closed the notebook.

He knew he would have to write more by the end of the week, but he felt too good to think about that now.

He crawled into bed and sighed. It had been a rough few weeks, but he still felt like this was where he was supposed to be and was doing what he was meant to do.

Musa's face flashed in his mind.

He was where he was supposed to be. He just wished he was with her.

* * *

 _ **A/N: So I've finally decided to start this new story. I have a few ideas for it, but am still trying to work out how I want this to play out. Thank you to** adanethel **who thought** **the idea of Riven's journal would be interesting. I think it could be as well, but I didn't want it to be exclusively in a journal format. We will get to learn more about Riven's life away from the others, and we will get a reunion. Time for an old flame to re-kindle!**_

 _ **Thank you all for reading! I hope to have an update out soon - like end of next week soon.**_


	2. Invitation

Chapter 2

Invitation

 _ **This is stupid.**_

 _ **Nope, yup, this is stupid.**_

 _ **I'm not really sure what people are expecting me to write about. Just trying to monitor me? So then I guess I should recap my week.**_

 _ **Slept, showered, ate, trained, ate again, did some strategy studying, ate. That happened six days. Now we're on the seventh and I was about to get to the final "eat" step before I was told that I needed to turn this in before dinner. I figured I should probably write more than that first line. Which, by the way, is completely accurate.**_

 _ **So besides the daily breakdown what else should I include? I don't think you would find any other details particularly pertinent.**_

 _ **Oh, you may be interested to know, I only had about two impure thoughts this week as opposed to my usual six to seven. Is that at all concerning? Should I be taking something to aid this situation?**_

 _ **Besides that, I guess all I can say is that I'm pissed not to be working and if the next three weeks drag on like this week did, I'm not sure what I will do with myself.**_

 _ **All right, see you next week.**_

Riven felt thoroughly satisfied with himself as he slammed the journal shut. He had managed to get, what, like a hundred words? Give or take. It was more than he had expected.

He left his room and made his way to the office of the "Employee Wellness Director". A guy name Logan. Logan had an open door policy, which was actually quite literal. His door was never shut unless he was conversing with someone. Riven stepped into the doorway and knocked against the door frame. "Hello Logan."

"Riven!" the director greeted. He waved Riven in and offered him a seat.

"I was just going to drop off my journal," Riven explained but took a seat anyway. Despite Riven's habit of never really liking anyone, he found Logan to be all right. He was snarky and sarcastic. Riven always enjoyed their verbal spars.

"Oh yeah, no worries man, I'm not going to try to get you to talk about it or anything. I actually have something for you."

"Yeah?" Riven asked. He watched as the blonde man reached into his desk and pulled something out. It was a card. "What's this?" Riven asked suspiciously.

"Dunno," he replied. "We don't go through your mail, Riven, you know that. This was addressed to you and since this is the first piece of mail you've received since you joined The League, it was decided that you should open it in front of me just in case. The timing is just a little strange."

"Right," Riven grunted. He tore open the envelope and skimmed through it.

"What is it?" Logan asked after a moment.

"It's a wedding invite." Behind the general invitation that had been mailed out to everyone, there was another letter attached. He gave it a once over. "One of my friends is getting married in two weeks and wants me to come. He said the wedding party is going to stay at his place for the wedding, so I can head over whenever I feel like it."

"So he wants you to be in the wedding party?" Logan prodded.

"I assume so..." Riven's mind automatically went to Musa. She'd be there. There was no way she wasn't going to be in the wedding party.

"So are you gonna go?"

"What?"

"Are you gonna go? You won't be assigned a mission for at least another three weeks. I saw you all last week - all you did was train. You train anymore, your muscles are going to explode. Riven, this may be a good distraction."

"I don't need a distraction, I feel fine."

"I didn't say you didn't feel fine. I meant it could be a good distraction from your boredom. You are bored, aren't you?"

"Well... yeah," Riven admitted.

"Why did you think I meant you weren't well emotionally? Are you not? Because we can totally talk about it." Logan smirked. For someone in charge of employee wellness, he sure did like to mess with his employees.

"I'm _fine._ "

"I'm sure you're perfect. So I'll make the arrangements and you should be clear to leave by sunrise tomorrow. Should give you plenty of time to pack and get a good night's rest tonight. Sound good?"

Riven rolled his eyes, "You're an ass."

"Does that mean you aren't going?" Logan asked.

"Does that mean I have a choice?" Riven countered.

"Of course. We don't own you, Riven, you're not a puppet... I just happen to know you and know that sitting around here for three weeks may make you want to jump off a building more than any PTSD could."

Riven huffed. Musa's face flashed in his mind again. A dull ache spread across his chest. "Yeah, I'll go."

"Perfect." Logan said with a haughty grin. "I'll make the transportation arrangements. Where should I say you're heading?"

"Eraklyon," Riven said as he rose from his seat.

"Who the hell do you know in Eraklyon?" Logan asked as he started typing away on his computer.

"The prince."

* * *

 _ **A/N: Okay so first of all, I apologize profusely to anyone who has been waiting for an update. Know that I fully intend to develop and continue this story, I just got swept up in life. Here's a recap of my life in case this helps you understand why I have been so remiss.**_

 _ **Aug-Dec 2016 - Student teaching + working part time to continue living**_

 _ **Dec 2016 - College graduation, got engaged**_

 _ **Jan 2017 - Started first high school teaching job as a mid-year replacement**_

 _ **Feb 2017 - Got married**_

 _ **Feb-June - Tried to teach and planning for the following school year**_

 _ **July - Took in an 18 year old who isn't mine who has been living with us ever since, car got stolen**_

 _ **Aug-Oct - Work**_

 _ **I'm currently on fall break and am planning to do a few more updates. And because I'm also going to get some planning done, I will have more time and energy to dedicate to writing after I go back to work.**_

 _ **Just know that I love you all and this couple. Thanks so much for reading! And yes, Riven's journal entries will get longer.**_


	3. When Past Meets Present

Chapter 3

When Past Meets Present

"Nervous?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"'Cause you seem nervous."

"Why the fuck are you even here?"

"Whoa - for someone who isn't nervous, that was a little hostile," the blonde man said with a hint of laughter in his voice.

"You're provoking the hostility," Riven ground out.

"I think that hostility is coming from nervousness."

"Logan," the magenta haired man hissed.

Said man threw his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry, man. It's just I've known you for over a year and I've never seen you pace. It's a new, eye-opening experience for me. I didn't know 'nervous' was one of the settings on the Riven meter."

Hearing the other man's words, Riven paused to collect himself. He had been pacing. He hadn't even realized he had been doing it. He silently counted to ten, inhaled, then moved to sit next to Logan.

A small smile spread across Logan's face. "So, you nervous?"

Riven exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose. "How did you end up with this job? And how has your obnoxiousness not caused any suicides yet?"

"Slept with the recruiter," Logan joked. Though Riven wasn't sure how much of a joke it was. "And I actually save my obnoxiousness especially for you."

Riven rolled his eyes. "Thanks. So great to know."

"So what's up, man? Why is this the first time I'm seeing a side of you that isn't stoic, sarcastic, or self-obsessed?"

"Nice alliteration," Riven scoffed. "What are you a poet?"

Logan winked. "Only when I'm drafting serenades for you."

"Why the fuck are you here?" Riven repeated his question from earlier. The League head honchos knew Riven was perfectly capable of handling transportation.

"League property. You're a great operative Riven, but you're still supposed to be under observation. The League isn't going to leave you with a vehicle for two weeks when you don't really need it. Plus, it ensures you'll stay and not try to come back. You need some down time."

"I wouldn't call it down time if I still have to work," Riven commented glumly.

"What work?" Logan questioned.

"Stupid digital diary writing!" he yelled as he gestured to the League-issued laptop bag.

"That's not work, it's protocol."

"It's a task that's been assigned to me - that I don't want to do - and have to do or else I get punished."

"Okay," Logan conceded, "it's a strict protocol."

"I have nothing to say!" Riven complained.

"I would like to read a little more about those impure thoughts of yours." Riven's groan caused his companion to chuckle. "Look man, all you need is one submission a week. Your last one was over a hundred words - congrats - but they don't even need to be that long. Keep in mind this protocol wasn't meant for you specifically, this is for all of The League operatives to have an opportunity to process their feelings and get any support they may need."

Riven knew he had a point, but that didn't mean he was okay with it. Looking out the ship's window he could see Eraklyon on the horizon. Knowing there was no turning back (because he wasn't about to tuck tail and run), Riven stretched out and closed his eyes waiting for touchdown.

* * *

Riven was mildly surprised to find that the personnel guarding the palace remembered him. Though he would never admit it, that fact made him miss his friends. He would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about them. He just thought of them less often than... others. It was easy to drown their memories and the feelings that came with them, but being back here at his friend's wedding...

He just didn't expect Sky's personnel to remember him.

Lost in thought, he had stood just past the entrance gate. The guards said they would send word that "the Prince's friend Riven" had arrived. Riven picked up his luggage knowing that the guys knew he was here and would be expecting him.

Entering the palace, Riven encountered many familiar sights and faces. It's not like he and the guys ever spent _extensive_ time at Sky's palace, but "not a lot" in six to seven years is is still a decent amount of time. Which is also why even though Riven and Sky had their rough patches, their friendship still meant something to each of them.

Riven hadn't been given direction on where to go, so he assumed he would head to their usual quarters in the west wing. He was only about a hundred meters away when he heard the shouting.

"RED ALERT! RED ALERT! UNIDENTIFIED PARTY APPROACHING THE KINGDOM!"

Before he could stop it, a smile broke out on Riven's face. He didn't exactly miss how loud his friends could be, but the yelling sure was good to hear.

"WAIT A MINUTE, I CAN IDENTIFY THAT PARTY! INITIATE PROTOCOL PF!" yelled Brandon.

Though his highly developed skills should have told him something was up, he had not been anticipating men charging at him from every angle. Suddenly he was reminded of what Eraklyon ground felt like under his face as he was knocked over by four other men. It took a few seconds and several extended hands to help Riven to feet. He brushed himself off before each of his friends captured him in a manly embrace (because hugging was totally out of the question).

The groom-to-be clapped a hand against Riven's back. "It's good to see you, man! Took me forever to track you down! I wasn't sure if you would make it."

Riven rubbed his neck sheepishly. "Yeah, sorry, I would have RSVP'd but-"

"But then you wouldn't be Riven," Sky finished for him.

"Come on, men, let's help our weary traveler with his luggage," Timmy suggested as he grabbed one of Riven's smaller bags. Riven smirked at the cleverness of his nerdy friend. Now all the other guys had to carry his other bags.

As Riven started to tell his friends that he could carry his own luggage, he noticed for the first time a guy who was not part of their inner circle but sure as hell was coming off as he belonged in it. "Who the hell are you?" he asked suddenly.

Helia rushed to the stranger's side. "Riven, you know Nex. He was a student at the Red Fountain of Flora's realm."

"Right," Riven acknowledged warily. "So why the hell are you here?" The terrifying thought that this little punk might be dating Musa crossed his mind.

Helia continued speaking. "Well... he's Aisha's boyfriend."

Riven could feel all of his friends freeze around him as the words came out of Helia's mouth. Judging by the stance, Helia was expecting Riven to attack this new kid. Riven thought that this hurt more than it would have if this twerp had been dating Musa. They all knew that Nabu and Riven were the closest. A flare of anger passed through him. But Riven managed to calm himself. He reminded himself that Nabu had been gone for two years now, and Aisha deserved to be happy. No doubt she felt more hurt than Riven had.

The young man in question offered his hand. "Good to see you again, Riven."

All of his friends seemed to be waiting with baited breath. After a moment, Riven extended his own hand. "Same," was all Riven said. It had been more than his friends expected.

The two men released their handshake and a distinctly feminine voice cut through the air. "Hey guys, what's going on?" Bloom was approaching their group with the entire Winx club following. "What are you all-" Bloom stopped suddenly as she got a clearer picture of the scene.

Sky rushed to the front of the male group. "Bloom - hey - we were just-"

The rest of the girls were approaching, but none of them seemed to know how to react. Without warning, the fairy of music and object of Riven's affection for almost a decade came into view.

"What the hell?" fell out of her mouth before she could stop herself. Riven caught her gaze and was surprised to see she was surprised. Said fairy looked like she was trying to form words, but when they failed her she turned and walked away.

As Riven watched the woman he had spent so much time thinking about walk away, the rest of her group converged on them.

"Brandon! What the hell is going on?" the fairy of the moon and sun screeched at her boyfriend. She turned to Riven briefly, "No offense."

"Stel, I-"

"Why didn't you tell me Riven was coming?" The blonde interrupted as she turned her attention back to her boyfriend.

"Yeah Sky, why weren't we told?"

"Bloom, we-"

"Timmy, surely you were able to predict what Musa's reaction would be."

"Well..."

"Helia?" Flora asked in her most firm voice.

"We just-"

"Nex, did you know about this?" Aisha rounded off the questioning. "We just started dating and you want to start out our relationship with hiding things from me?" she asked viciously.

All men tried to offer an explanation, but only one cut through.

"They didn't know I was coming," Riven interrupted.

Aisha shook her head. "Look Riven, the issue isn't you specifically. It's good to see you. The problem is all of these men hid this from us and now we have an upset friend. So welcome. But now we have to go deal with a case of surprise heartache."

With that, all of the women threw glares at all men and turned to find their friend.

Riven watched them walk away and thought of Musa's expression when she saw him. He then realized he had been wrong. It would have hurt a hell of a lot more if the little punk had been dating Musa.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Yay, an update!**_

 _ **So for those of you who have not read my other works, just know that I thought Riven and Musa's breakup was bullshit and it should not have ended on a positive note. For those of you interested, I rewrote their breakup scene in the last chapter of my fic "The Last 5 Years".**_

 _ **Thank you all for reading. I know there was no actual journal writing in this chapter, but there will be some soon. I just don't want to rush this. I love you all!**_


	4. But Who's Counting

Chapter 4

But Who's Counting?

It took 22 seconds for her to fade out of view. Then her friends followed.

"So you didn't tell them I was coming?"

"We weren't positive you were coming," Timmy said sheepishly, looking like Tecna had just swat him on the nose like a puppy.

"Guess I should have RSVP'd, huh?" Riven asked monotonously.

Brandon clapped a hand against his back. "Don't worry about it, Riven. The girls will get over it. Like Aisha said - they were all happy to see you. They just don't like to see Musa upset."

"I should have told Bloom I sent the invitation - that was my fault." Sky stepped up.

Helia joined in reassuring their prodigal friend, "It'll be fine. Let's get you settled." Helia picked up the piece of luggage he had claimed.

* * *

There was a gentle rapping at the door, and though he should have known that none of his friends had enough courtesy to knock he had expected it to be one of them. So when Riven opened the door and found Musa on the opposite side, his brain wasn't prepared to perform the function that was greeting her.

He stood dumbly for a moment before she broke the silence for him. "Walk with me?" she asked with a small smirk as if she knew his brain had betrayed him.

Who was he kidding? Of course she knew. She knew everything about him. "Uhh sure."

She didn't try to make conversation as they made their way to a balcony Riven knew was overlooking the garden. He was grateful to her. He needed the time to recover from his brain's betrayal. Of course, the lack of talking made it easier to notice things that had dimmed in his memory - her scent, the glow of her skin, her graceful movements. He tried not to let it distract him, but he was always so caught up in her.

He hadn't registered that they had stopped until she broke the silence. "So, it's been a while..."

One year, five months, three weeks, and five days. "Yeah," he agreed. "Over a year. But who's counting?" He was.

"A year and a half, almost," she corrected. "So are the rumors true? Is our dear Riven part of the prestigious League?" she asked playfully.

"Didn't know I was the subject of gossip," he chuckled. "But yes, I am a League member."

"I may have put my feelers out for news about you. We've made a few contacts over the years." She winked and giggled. He had missed that. "I think that's awesome, Riven. I'm so proud! I know you always wanted to do more. The League is lucky to have someone like you!"

She gave him one of those genuine, heartwarming smiles. If he had been a lesser man, he would have cried. "Look Musa, I was going to call, but you know how news about the Winx gets around. By the time I finished my training, news was going around Magix that The Winx was facing another Big Bad and I thought I would leave it alone. After that, it just..."

"It felt like too much time had passed," she finished. "I get it, Riv. I felt the same way."

"You always get it." He was acutely aware that he had said something similar during their breakup. He replayed that day over and over in his head.

"Can you believe they're actually doing this? Bloom and Sky are actually getting married," she changed the subject smoothly.

Riven shook his head. "It about time," he said. "I wasn't sure that it was actually ever going to happen. I never thought they'd work out all their issues."

Musa shrugged and scoffed. "I don't think they'll ever actually work out all their issues. But love is love, you know?"

"Yeah... So are you seeing anyone?" Riven finally forced himself to ask. The boys had told him no, but they could have been trying to shelter him.

She sighed, "I mean, I've been on a date or two, but who's counting," she answered nonchalantly. "Nothing serious though."

His heart clenched knowing she had been with anyone at all, but he was relieved to know she wasn't involved with anyone currently. "Look Muse, I'm sorry you were blindsided. I guess I should have-"

"It's okay, Riven, really. It was... it's just hard, you know? I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." Probably more than he would ever be able to convey to her.

She nodded. "I just wanted us to talk. I don't want thing to be weird. Especially since we'll be around each other for at least the next week."

He nodded, "Good thinking."

"And maybe longer than the next week?" she asked.

He wasn't sure what that meant. All he knew was the prospect of seeing more often sounded damn good to him. "Maybe," he agreed.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Whoa, two month flies by. Brief chapter, but my winter break is coming up so more is coming soon. I also have a great friend pushing me to write, so hopefully it's what I need to get going.**_

 ** _Thank you to all who read and review! In response to ChimaTigon's question in my reviews, this takes place after season 7. I love you all! Hope you're enjoying this holiday season!_**


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